Post by nyxkitsune on Aug 14, 2009 19:57:32 GMT -5
Ok... so there's this friend of mine who thinks that i am seriously traumatized by an event that happened several years ago. She says that due to said event, i am not open to romance, and that that's why i havn't dated a guy. 
I don't really think that that's the problem, but she told me to ask around and see what others think, so..... i figured why not come here? so here it is, my oh so scarring memory... lolz... 
It was in the 4rth grade when i had my first big crush on a guy. We'll call him Al, cuz i don't wanna say his real name. So, i really liked Al, but didn't know how to express it. I thought that it would be a brilliant idea to write 'secret cards' to him, for holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas. At the end of each letter, i would give him a 'clue' as to my real identity, because i was too shy to sign the cards, and i wanted him to figure it out. Somehow, i thought that it'd be romantic. In hindsight?... NOT a good idea. The day before our Christmas break, i snuck the Christmas letter into his desk in a way that i thought was very sneaky. However, before id even gotten back to my desk, the class bully (whom we'll call Tif cuz i don't wanna say her real name either) grabbed the card out and started making a huge commotion. (I don't remember where our teacher was exactly, only that he wasn't in the room at the time. Obviously.) I pretented to be impartial about it and sat down at my desk, taking my mom's age old advice that if you ignored the bully, they would leave you out of boredom. Not the case this time. In failing to bring me out by taunting me, she tried a new tactic. She read it out loud to everyone in the class. Which, i can tell you, doesn't feel so great. I don't remember the exact content, but i do remember that everyone would have known it was me because i said at the bottom that i was going to Ca. for break, and i had announced it in front of everyone during those stupid little, "And what will you do during your break?" sessions with the teacher. (I didn't do it subtley that time because i was impatient and wanted Al to realize that it was me.) I seem to recall that the majority of the kids were laughing at me along with Tif, but i can't remember if it really was all of them or just the group of Tif's friends. I don't remember what Al was doing at the time either. I tried to mantain a straight face, but i think i was crying before i could reach the class bathroom (we were in tempts, so we had those). After i reterned, Tif came up to my desk and started teasing me. I told her that it wasn't me, and then a frenzy ensued to find out who had written it (because other people had said that they were going to Ca. for break). In the end, they either got bored, took pity on me (running into the bathroom was kinda obvious), or the teacher walked in. We all went home for winter break and Al and i never talked to each other about it afterwards.
So... judgement time!!! ;D ;D ;D
Do you think that i'm traumatized for still remembering all this? Am i just not a romantic person? How do you suggest i get 'back in the love game?'
I don't really think that that's the problem, but she told me to ask around and see what others think, so..... i figured why not come here? so here it is, my oh so scarring memory... lolz... 
It was in the 4rth grade when i had my first big crush on a guy. We'll call him Al, cuz i don't wanna say his real name. So, i really liked Al, but didn't know how to express it. I thought that it would be a brilliant idea to write 'secret cards' to him, for holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas. At the end of each letter, i would give him a 'clue' as to my real identity, because i was too shy to sign the cards, and i wanted him to figure it out. Somehow, i thought that it'd be romantic. In hindsight?... NOT a good idea. The day before our Christmas break, i snuck the Christmas letter into his desk in a way that i thought was very sneaky. However, before id even gotten back to my desk, the class bully (whom we'll call Tif cuz i don't wanna say her real name either) grabbed the card out and started making a huge commotion. (I don't remember where our teacher was exactly, only that he wasn't in the room at the time. Obviously.) I pretented to be impartial about it and sat down at my desk, taking my mom's age old advice that if you ignored the bully, they would leave you out of boredom. Not the case this time. In failing to bring me out by taunting me, she tried a new tactic. She read it out loud to everyone in the class. Which, i can tell you, doesn't feel so great. I don't remember the exact content, but i do remember that everyone would have known it was me because i said at the bottom that i was going to Ca. for break, and i had announced it in front of everyone during those stupid little, "And what will you do during your break?" sessions with the teacher. (I didn't do it subtley that time because i was impatient and wanted Al to realize that it was me.) I seem to recall that the majority of the kids were laughing at me along with Tif, but i can't remember if it really was all of them or just the group of Tif's friends. I don't remember what Al was doing at the time either. I tried to mantain a straight face, but i think i was crying before i could reach the class bathroom (we were in tempts, so we had those). After i reterned, Tif came up to my desk and started teasing me. I told her that it wasn't me, and then a frenzy ensued to find out who had written it (because other people had said that they were going to Ca. for break). In the end, they either got bored, took pity on me (running into the bathroom was kinda obvious), or the teacher walked in. We all went home for winter break and Al and i never talked to each other about it afterwards.
So... judgement time!!! ;D ;D ;D
Do you think that i'm traumatized for still remembering all this? Am i just not a romantic person? How do you suggest i get 'back in the love game?'
